Evolution vs Creationism
A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children; and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Heavenly Surprise
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp:
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbour
Who never said anything nice.
Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.
'And why's everyone so quiet,
So sombre - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
At the thought of seeing you.'
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp:
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbour
Who never said anything nice.
Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal?
I would love to hear your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.
'And why's everyone so quiet,
So sombre - give me a clue.'
'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.
At the thought of seeing you.'
Plenty of Room in Heaven
Revelation 21:16 "The city lies foursquare, its length the same as its width; and he measured the city with his rod, fifteen hundred miles; its length and width and height are equal."
So assuming that these measurements, and their translation into English, are anything like accurate, the New Jerusalem is a cube, 1500 miles on a side. If we divide this cube into smaller cubes, one half mile on a side, then we could have 3000 floors, each floor containing nine million quarter sections (i.e. one quarter of a square mile, 160 acres each with the ceiling a half mile overhead. Since there's no marriage, we'll each get to homestead our own quarter section, living a half mile from our nearest neighbour in any direction. That's twenty-seven billion residents!
Once that's filled up we start building the subdivisions.
If you figure each of the 3000 floors is "reserved" for one generation of people. And that a generation is 20 years (give or take).
Then the world will end precisely 60,020 years after the creation of Adam and Eve.
Let's see, some folks figure it was 4000 years from Adam to Abraham; and another 4000 from Abraham to Christ.
It’s been roughly 2000 since Christ.
That's 10,000 years.
Which means we have another 50,020 years to go.
Revelation 21:16 "The city lies foursquare, its length the same as its width; and he measured the city with his rod, fifteen hundred miles; its length and width and height are equal."
So assuming that these measurements, and their translation into English, are anything like accurate, the New Jerusalem is a cube, 1500 miles on a side. If we divide this cube into smaller cubes, one half mile on a side, then we could have 3000 floors, each floor containing nine million quarter sections (i.e. one quarter of a square mile, 160 acres each with the ceiling a half mile overhead. Since there's no marriage, we'll each get to homestead our own quarter section, living a half mile from our nearest neighbour in any direction. That's twenty-seven billion residents!
Once that's filled up we start building the subdivisions.
If you figure each of the 3000 floors is "reserved" for one generation of people. And that a generation is 20 years (give or take).
Then the world will end precisely 60,020 years after the creation of Adam and Eve.
Let's see, some folks figure it was 4000 years from Adam to Abraham; and another 4000 from Abraham to Christ.
It’s been roughly 2000 since Christ.
That's 10,000 years.
Which means we have another 50,020 years to go.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Stewardship
A notorious miser was called on by the chairman of the community charity. 'Sir,' said the fund-raiser, 'our records show that despite your wealth, you've never once given to our drive.'
'Do your records show that I have an elderly mother who was left penniless when my father died? fumed the tightwad. 'Do your records show that I have a disabled brother who is unable to work? Do your records show I have a widowed sister with small children who can barely make ends meet?'
'No, sir,' replied the embarrassed volunteer. 'Our records don't show those things.'
'Well, I don't give to any of them, so why should I give anything to you?'
Head Hog
The door to the church office opened and a man walked in and asked to speak to the Head Hog at the Trough
"Sir, if you mean our pastor," the secretary replied sharply, "you will have to treat him with more respect - and ask for "the Reverend" or "the Pastor." But you certainly cannot call him the Head Hog at the Trough!"
"Oh, I see," said the man. Well, I have ten thousand dollars I was thinking about donating to the Building Fund."
"Stay where you are!" the secretary cried, jumping up from her chair. "I'll go get the Big Pig for you."
'Do your records show that I have an elderly mother who was left penniless when my father died? fumed the tightwad. 'Do your records show that I have a disabled brother who is unable to work? Do your records show I have a widowed sister with small children who can barely make ends meet?'
'No, sir,' replied the embarrassed volunteer. 'Our records don't show those things.'
'Well, I don't give to any of them, so why should I give anything to you?'
Head Hog
The door to the church office opened and a man walked in and asked to speak to the Head Hog at the Trough
"Sir, if you mean our pastor," the secretary replied sharply, "you will have to treat him with more respect - and ask for "the Reverend" or "the Pastor." But you certainly cannot call him the Head Hog at the Trough!"
"Oh, I see," said the man. Well, I have ten thousand dollars I was thinking about donating to the Building Fund."
"Stay where you are!" the secretary cried, jumping up from her chair. "I'll go get the Big Pig for you."
Fathers’ Day
A young boy was driving a horse-drawn hay cart down the road, and it turned over right in front of a farmer's house. The farmer came out, saw the young boy crying, and said, "Son, don't worry about this, we can fix it. Right now dinner's ready. Why don't you come in and eat with us and then I'll help you put the hay back on the cart."
The boy said, "No, I can't. My father is going to be very angry with me."
The farmer said, "Now don't worry, just come in and have some lunch and you'll feel better."
The boy said, "I'm just afraid my father is going to be very angry with me." The farmer and the young boy went inside and had dinner.
Afterwards, as they walked outside to the hay cart, the farmer said, "Son, don't you feel better now?"
The boy said, "Yes but I just know that my father will be very angry with me."
The farmer said, "Nonsense. Where is your father anyway?"
The boy said, "He's under that pile of hay."
A young boy was driving a horse-drawn hay cart down the road, and it turned over right in front of a farmer's house. The farmer came out, saw the young boy crying, and said, "Son, don't worry about this, we can fix it. Right now dinner's ready. Why don't you come in and eat with us and then I'll help you put the hay back on the cart."
The boy said, "No, I can't. My father is going to be very angry with me."
The farmer said, "Now don't worry, just come in and have some lunch and you'll feel better."
The boy said, "I'm just afraid my father is going to be very angry with me." The farmer and the young boy went inside and had dinner.
Afterwards, as they walked outside to the hay cart, the farmer said, "Son, don't you feel better now?"
The boy said, "Yes but I just know that my father will be very angry with me."
The farmer said, "Nonsense. Where is your father anyway?"
The boy said, "He's under that pile of hay."
Monday, April 13, 2009
Easter FAQ
What do rabbits have to do with Easter?
Absolutely nothing. The rabbit is an ancient symbol of Oestra, Ishtar, and Ashtoreth. Considering the rabbit’s fertility, it is an appropriate emblem of these goddesses of fertility. This pagan symbol seems to have hung on for centuries, even though the goddesses it represents are long forgotten.
The “bunny” has become a deeply embedded symbol of secular Easter celebrations, but it will not be seen as a Christian symbol in any church (at least ! sincerely hope not!).
And what about eggs?
The egg has a distinctly Christian symbolism.
The chick emerging from the egg is symbolic of Christ emerging from the tomb. Early Christians would cut off the end of an egg and remove the contents, leaving the empty shell as a symbol of the empty tomb. It’s obvious that such a joyful symbol should be gaily decorated, and by the Middle Ages, Easter egg decoration had become a fine art form in many regions. By the time Fabergé wrought his magnificent jewelled eggs, the religious significance of them had been all but forgotten (although Tsar Nicholas gave a Fabergé egg to the Empress Alexandra every year at Easter).
The idea of the Easter bunny laying coloured Easter eggs is pure American whimsy.
Absolutely nothing. The rabbit is an ancient symbol of Oestra, Ishtar, and Ashtoreth. Considering the rabbit’s fertility, it is an appropriate emblem of these goddesses of fertility. This pagan symbol seems to have hung on for centuries, even though the goddesses it represents are long forgotten.
The “bunny” has become a deeply embedded symbol of secular Easter celebrations, but it will not be seen as a Christian symbol in any church (at least ! sincerely hope not!).
And what about eggs?
The egg has a distinctly Christian symbolism.
The chick emerging from the egg is symbolic of Christ emerging from the tomb. Early Christians would cut off the end of an egg and remove the contents, leaving the empty shell as a symbol of the empty tomb. It’s obvious that such a joyful symbol should be gaily decorated, and by the Middle Ages, Easter egg decoration had become a fine art form in many regions. By the time Fabergé wrought his magnificent jewelled eggs, the religious significance of them had been all but forgotten (although Tsar Nicholas gave a Fabergé egg to the Empress Alexandra every year at Easter).
The idea of the Easter bunny laying coloured Easter eggs is pure American whimsy.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Lent
Christians observe Lent as a time of reflection, repentance, fasting, abstinence, and acts of mercy. Perhaps you'll see a friend this week with ashes conspicuously smeared in the middle of her forehead. Maybe your colleague has mentioned giving up chocolate or beer.
In a culture that encourages indulgence, ashes signify an outrageously counter-cultural act of humility. As a time when we acknowledge that not all is well with our souls, and lament the pain of so many people in our world, Lent appeals as the most sensible and realistic liturgical season of the year.
Ash Wednesday gets its name from the liturgical rite of dabbing ashes on the forehead of worshipers. The ashes remind us of our mortality. God spoke to Adam in Genesis 3:19, “for dust you are, and to dust you will return.” In the Bible ashes are also a symbol of mourning (2 Samuel 13:19, Jeremiah 6:26), a stark metaphor that even Jesus invokes (Matthew 11:21). Ashes also signify an inner attitude of repentance, humility, self-denial, and abstinence.
Lenten humility is not an end in itself, some act of morbid self-hatred or self-denial. Unlike the implications of the scientific outlook, Lent anticipates and culminates in the Easter celebration of resurrection life. Whatever else Christians believe, we believe that God in Christ will vanquish sin and death, and so we're the ultimate optimists who affirm life. But until then, Lent reminds us that Easter's celebration of life must pass through the narrow and bitter way of death. Jesus rose from the dead, but not before he died a real death; our hope is for the same. That's why at this time of year Christians find it entirely healthy and human to "remember death".
Daniel Clendenin
Christians observe Lent as a time of reflection, repentance, fasting, abstinence, and acts of mercy. Perhaps you'll see a friend this week with ashes conspicuously smeared in the middle of her forehead. Maybe your colleague has mentioned giving up chocolate or beer.
In a culture that encourages indulgence, ashes signify an outrageously counter-cultural act of humility. As a time when we acknowledge that not all is well with our souls, and lament the pain of so many people in our world, Lent appeals as the most sensible and realistic liturgical season of the year.
Ash Wednesday gets its name from the liturgical rite of dabbing ashes on the forehead of worshipers. The ashes remind us of our mortality. God spoke to Adam in Genesis 3:19, “for dust you are, and to dust you will return.” In the Bible ashes are also a symbol of mourning (2 Samuel 13:19, Jeremiah 6:26), a stark metaphor that even Jesus invokes (Matthew 11:21). Ashes also signify an inner attitude of repentance, humility, self-denial, and abstinence.
Lenten humility is not an end in itself, some act of morbid self-hatred or self-denial. Unlike the implications of the scientific outlook, Lent anticipates and culminates in the Easter celebration of resurrection life. Whatever else Christians believe, we believe that God in Christ will vanquish sin and death, and so we're the ultimate optimists who affirm life. But until then, Lent reminds us that Easter's celebration of life must pass through the narrow and bitter way of death. Jesus rose from the dead, but not before he died a real death; our hope is for the same. That's why at this time of year Christians find it entirely healthy and human to "remember death".
Daniel Clendenin
RECTOR'S REPORT TO ANNUAL VESTRY MEETING 22 FEBRUARY 2009
1. I've now been here for 3 years, which isn’t very long. As Cluster Leader and member of almost every other Committee & Board in the Diocese, I attend over 30 diocesan meetings each year. I act as Auditor for many of the parishes in the Free State, and continue to minister to the Precious Blood Sisters in Lesotho. I now also provide a ministry to the staff at the Hospital and Post Office. I’m very grateful that this parish understands that I have many other responsibilities and tolerates my many absences.
2. Numbers: We have had 7 baptisms and 1 funeral. The first time in my whole ministry that I have had more baptisms than funerals. The number of baptised parishioners has increased slightly to 132, including about 34 children, in 61 family units. Christmas attendance was 78, 30% up on 2007, and Easter 110, up 16%. Average Sunday communicants are 61 – an 11% increase. Sunday School numbers haven’t really changed. But, let’s always remember that Jesus commanded us to “feed my sheep” – not to “count my sheep”.
3. Services: The standard of worship in this parish is high – which is our number one priority as Christians. The weekly services at Eliza Liddell Home are very well attended – and growing. All who would like to attend a weekday Eucharist are reminded that they are welcome at Eliza Liddell on Thursday mornings at 9am. (Lasts about 35 minutes).
The pre-Christmass spit braai & associated festivities were excellent and all concerned are to be heartily congratulated. Thanks to the Lay Ministers who took Holy Week weekday services – we shall do the same this year. The Bishop’s visit for Confirmation of our own and Intabazwe’s candidates was a blessing. Edwina de Wet has been ordained a Deacon.
4. Groups: It’s a measure of the depth of our spirituality that so many people meet regularly for small group sessions of bible study, prayer and faith-sharing. I hope that more people will join the new Lent Bible Study Group on the Transfiguration on Wednesdays in the Rectory.
5. Finances: Giving by parishioners in Harrismith is not bad, but there is always room for improvement by those who are merely tipping God. Our pledge to the Diocese for this year is R148,500, (12.5% increase) which is the minimum asked for.
The fund-raising raffle raised over R26,000: Many thanks to Gavin Scholefield, to those who donated the prizes, and all concerned. The Guild bought a washing machine and an anonymous donor 2 industrial toasters for the hall.
The Wardens & Treasurer will provide a full financial report and budget.
6. Buildings: The repair of our stained glass windows is now under way. The church gutters have been replaced. The roof on the hall is again leaking after being fixed in 2006. There are still major and very expensive repairs to be done to the church fabric. The Rectory’s garden wall has been painted. We no longer have pigeons in the church porch and bats in the church.
7. Tshiame Church of the Resurrection: is our Chapelry. The congregation is now enjoying the spacious new extension. Flooring, ceiling & furniture remain to be achieved.
8. Intabazwe Church of the Transfiguration: is our nearest Anglican neighbour. Fr Isaac Rustoff and I work together to a certain extent. The Guild continues to support with mealie meal the poorest of the poor there. We should have more contact with our Anglican neighbours.
9. All Saints Vrede: Support has fallen off and the future of this church needs to be re-considered. Glodel Oertel & her school children use the building on Mondays & Fridays. Fr Tsele Moloi holds the occasional Sunday Bible Study.
10. Social Work: We have continued to support Hope House materially. The Women’s Guild has supported 42nd Hill as mentioned above. We have also supported Eliza Liddell Home for the oldest citizens in Harrismith.
11. Thanks: Churchwardens, Bernard, Bruce & Marjorie. Councillors. Servers. A group of excellent Lay Ministers. Treasurer Martie. Secretary Edwina. Several sidespeople. Guild & others for refreshments, breakfasts, teas. Guild for catering other special occasions, for fund-raising, flower arrangements. Merle & Joan (Scholefield) for gardening. Martie & the Choir for music, without which our worship would be much poorer. Sacristans. Sunday School teachers, Mandy, Karen & Michelle. Too many to mention by name for hospitality, encouragement and other acts of kindness.
1. I've now been here for 3 years, which isn’t very long. As Cluster Leader and member of almost every other Committee & Board in the Diocese, I attend over 30 diocesan meetings each year. I act as Auditor for many of the parishes in the Free State, and continue to minister to the Precious Blood Sisters in Lesotho. I now also provide a ministry to the staff at the Hospital and Post Office. I’m very grateful that this parish understands that I have many other responsibilities and tolerates my many absences.
2. Numbers: We have had 7 baptisms and 1 funeral. The first time in my whole ministry that I have had more baptisms than funerals. The number of baptised parishioners has increased slightly to 132, including about 34 children, in 61 family units. Christmas attendance was 78, 30% up on 2007, and Easter 110, up 16%. Average Sunday communicants are 61 – an 11% increase. Sunday School numbers haven’t really changed. But, let’s always remember that Jesus commanded us to “feed my sheep” – not to “count my sheep”.
3. Services: The standard of worship in this parish is high – which is our number one priority as Christians. The weekly services at Eliza Liddell Home are very well attended – and growing. All who would like to attend a weekday Eucharist are reminded that they are welcome at Eliza Liddell on Thursday mornings at 9am. (Lasts about 35 minutes).
The pre-Christmass spit braai & associated festivities were excellent and all concerned are to be heartily congratulated. Thanks to the Lay Ministers who took Holy Week weekday services – we shall do the same this year. The Bishop’s visit for Confirmation of our own and Intabazwe’s candidates was a blessing. Edwina de Wet has been ordained a Deacon.
4. Groups: It’s a measure of the depth of our spirituality that so many people meet regularly for small group sessions of bible study, prayer and faith-sharing. I hope that more people will join the new Lent Bible Study Group on the Transfiguration on Wednesdays in the Rectory.
5. Finances: Giving by parishioners in Harrismith is not bad, but there is always room for improvement by those who are merely tipping God. Our pledge to the Diocese for this year is R148,500, (12.5% increase) which is the minimum asked for.
The fund-raising raffle raised over R26,000: Many thanks to Gavin Scholefield, to those who donated the prizes, and all concerned. The Guild bought a washing machine and an anonymous donor 2 industrial toasters for the hall.
The Wardens & Treasurer will provide a full financial report and budget.
6. Buildings: The repair of our stained glass windows is now under way. The church gutters have been replaced. The roof on the hall is again leaking after being fixed in 2006. There are still major and very expensive repairs to be done to the church fabric. The Rectory’s garden wall has been painted. We no longer have pigeons in the church porch and bats in the church.
7. Tshiame Church of the Resurrection: is our Chapelry. The congregation is now enjoying the spacious new extension. Flooring, ceiling & furniture remain to be achieved.
8. Intabazwe Church of the Transfiguration: is our nearest Anglican neighbour. Fr Isaac Rustoff and I work together to a certain extent. The Guild continues to support with mealie meal the poorest of the poor there. We should have more contact with our Anglican neighbours.
9. All Saints Vrede: Support has fallen off and the future of this church needs to be re-considered. Glodel Oertel & her school children use the building on Mondays & Fridays. Fr Tsele Moloi holds the occasional Sunday Bible Study.
10. Social Work: We have continued to support Hope House materially. The Women’s Guild has supported 42nd Hill as mentioned above. We have also supported Eliza Liddell Home for the oldest citizens in Harrismith.
11. Thanks: Churchwardens, Bernard, Bruce & Marjorie. Councillors. Servers. A group of excellent Lay Ministers. Treasurer Martie. Secretary Edwina. Several sidespeople. Guild & others for refreshments, breakfasts, teas. Guild for catering other special occasions, for fund-raising, flower arrangements. Merle & Joan (Scholefield) for gardening. Martie & the Choir for music, without which our worship would be much poorer. Sacristans. Sunday School teachers, Mandy, Karen & Michelle. Too many to mention by name for hospitality, encouragement and other acts of kindness.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)